Necessary Elements of Being Resilient – For ANY Situation
Whether you screwed up the chicken, or destroyed your life, these things will help you get through them all. I want you to stop beating yourself up for making mistakes. It’s true! I’ve tried both, burning the chicken and destroying my life. I’m here, and I’m resilient. In other words, I’m forgiving myself for mistakes. You should too. Read on friends.
Last night I made dinner and in my mind, I had a vision of making teriyaki chicken. I wanted it to be the kind where you have char grill marks on the chicken and the sauce is a little sticky. That’s the best kind of teriyaki and I’d not made it in quite awhile. I had such good preparation and I had a plan.
We cut up a full chicken the day before, so that it would be flavorful with meat off the bone. I bought the right vegetables, including bok choy, so this was no American endeavor. It was meant to be the real deal. I marinated the chicken for a day in the sauce. I prepped and cut the vegetables and cooked the sticky rice. The rice even had Japanese writing on the package, so you know it was legit. I was prepared. I had done the work and I had spent time thinking about exactly how I wanted it to go.
Jason took Mason to the gym, and I prepped dinner while they were gone so that it would be ready when they got home. As a side note, during the week, we normally switch off who is cooking. it depends how busy our schedules are, and if one of us is more available that day, that’s who cooks. So, this night it was my turn, and I had some additional time to actually cook during the week, which was a nice treat! was excited and I love to cook, so I had all the ingredients of success. I knew that in order to get the char I wanted on the chicken, I needed the heat on high. So with my best preparation for a spectacular presentation, I got to work on the cooking.
When I got ready to turn the chicken over on the grill after a few minutes, it happened. I lifted it up, and it was burned. I’ve been cooking for years. I know how to do this meal and I worked hard at it. My best preparation still turned in to burned chicken. An easy error was made, and I screwed up by turning up the heat just a little bit too high. I salvaged the meal and it turned out fine, not perfect, but fine, in the end. We all ate, and I learned a lesson, turn the heat down just a tiny bit next time. We laughed about the burnt chicken, scraped off the burnt parts and ate our dinner.
The best preparation doesn’t insulate you from mistakes.
Yes, I realize that teriyaki chicken isn’t a life changing issue. Or is it? Anyway, this meal got me thinking about preparation. I’m a prepper at heart. Am I ready for natural disaster? No, but I like to prepare for the contingencies in life generally. I have worked hard to make a life that I like and that I love so I want it to continue that way, obviously. I don’t think that’s all that uncommon.
I want my kids to be well-rounded, my marriage to thrive, and for us to be able to do the things that we want to do. That’s been a double-edged sword for me because there have been many times that I’ve tried to insulate myself from mistakes through really good preparation and it flusters me when it goes wrong. It’s hurt me too, because I waste time feeling like I failed somehow, when in all reality, it’s just because I’m a human and things will happen.
I’ve taken many of life’s issues way to much to heart and expected perfection of myself. Yes, there are times when I have royally messed up on a large scale, but other times, I just accidentally turned the burner up too high.
In the more important aspects of life, it’s so important to be able to learn and grow when things go awry.
Being able to exhibit resilience during the most trying times is the best way I’ve found to move forward.
Owning my mistakes, learning from failure and mis-steps, and being able to move on is the only way that I have learned. That’s what we all need, because self-deprecation is fruitless, but it’s easy to do, when you screw up, but you meant well. I’ve had many times in which I needed to acknowledge that my best efforts simply were not enough. It’s a choice really.
Here are some things you can do when the preparation goes wrong. Whether it’s the chicken or you’ve ruined relationships, fortunately these key things work for all those situations. It’s true! Admittedly, it takes more work if all your preparation led to failure, but it’s really the same process. Don’t be afraid.
Here’s what you can do when your preparation fails you.
- Accept that you made a mistake.
- Deal with the consequences. If you have responsibility in it, own that responsibility.
- Choose to love yourself regardless of the level of the mistake.
- If there are lessons to learn, take those as wisdom.
- Accept that ‘good enough’ really is good enough. You don’t have to be perfect.
- Try again.
I like to make things so much harder than they need to be. That checklist is easy, but I know it’s not as easy to apply. This is the foundation though. If you can do these things, you’ll view your mistakes differently and be able to move forward positively, instead of deflecting responsibility or continuing to do the same things over and over again.
I hope this is helpful! If so, feel free to use it next time you screw up and burn the chicken, otherwise, take what you want and leave the rest. Please let me know if you destroy your life, then I’ll know I’m not alone. I’ll try to remember to use it too. I need a visual reminder, because I go off course easily.