I’m finding my voice through creativity. You won’t heal until you find yours.

Creativity is healing.

As a kid, I often played office, lining up my pen and paper, and a desk. I’d either have a mystery I wanted to solve, but I never could decide what that mystery was, or a story I wanted to write. I think it made me wonder if I did have a story to write in the first place, so then I’d give up and go jump on the trampoline. I have had plenty of life’s mysteries to solve along the way, but I’ve found I’m not a very good detective.

I wish I had grabbed hold of creativity sooner. I hope you find it sooner than I did.

I wish I had explored that more, now that I think about it. I think I have always had writing in my soul, but I’ve never really acted on it or knew where to start. After I placed my son for adoption, I knew I’d write a book about it one day, but I never did.

I had a blog back in the day, when I had preschool kids at home and blogging had just become popular. Some friends and I shared blogs and stories, most of us were at home with our kids, and it is still happy memories for me to this day. Over time, that faded with growing kids, life, and other priorities.

I’m choosing creativity over perfection.

I’m back at the blogging life now, after many years off, and it’s been so amazing to reflect on those old days, and how much I’ve grown as a person – time and experience will do that for you, I guess. This time around in the blogging world, there is social media to consider, and I built a whole website. By trial and error, that is. I have no clue what I’m doing, but it’s been so fun to explore and test things out. I made the site public because I just had too many things to write, and I didn’t want to keep them in DRAFT anymore. I decided I’ll just work at the website as I go. Choosing creativity over perfection is a huge win for me. I’m modifying the website, and honing it, and making it just how it needs to be, to reflect who I am.

At the same time, my words and thoughts are flowing. I have books I want to write, blog posts I want to write, and the world is opening in my brain ways I never dreamed possible.

I always have been pretty analytical and detail oriented, with a deeply emotional side, hidden in there. I think a lot more than I say, and I see the world as an array of the surface issues, and what REALLY lies underneath. I haven’t always known how to navigate that, or to use my voice. I’ve kept a lot in over the years.

It feels so good for this side of me to be coming out now. I’ve needed this. I’ve needed this for a long time. I’ve been reading other blogs, voraciously, and learning a lot about social media. I don’t know how to define my writing yet. I know I have a lot to say, and I know I want to encourage others, but I don’t have it all figured out. I know that definition of my writing will change over time too.

Creativity unlocks parts of the brain that desperately need to be explored.

It’s so exciting to see the creative process forming in my brain and in my heart. They are closely linked as I am learning. Because I have never developed my creative side, I see all these possibilities in bright fashion. I know what I like, and I know what doesn’t appeal to me, so far, and I see the growth in that, even over the couple of months that I’ve been taking this seriously and committing my time to it.

I’m also learning about things like SEO and algorithms and other technology that I don’t fully understand, but it’s important in having appealing, readable, content. It’s really exciting to see the technology changes since those old blogger.com days.

This aspect meets the part of my brain that loves to learn, and is comfortable in business and navigating the ‘how to’ aspects. However, when I’ve gotten stuck in trying to meet an SEO score or some other metric as an end goal, it makes me miserable! Yes, I want my writing to be readable. I want it to be appealing, and I need to learn. But I know already, I need to let the creative process flow, and not let it be tied to a score, or a number of people that read my work. That’s not what this is about.

I believe that the exact right people will be inspired by my writing. There’s not a metric for that.

The main thing is for me to keep writing! I want things to look presentable, but the creativity for me is found in the producing of the written word. If a reader is encouraged or inspired by my writing, that’s great. If not, that’s ok too. I can let go of outcome in order to fully express myself. I also know I don’t want to write every post as a ‘5 things you should….’ although admittedly, those are appealing, and have their place. I have written some of those, too, and it’s helpful for me to organize my thoughts, but again, that’s not the kind of writer I want to be. You have no idea how tempted I am to title this post: 5 things you should do to unlock your creativity. I won’t, but tempting!

Being free-spirited is incredibly healing.

I need my writing to be free-spirited, and authentically me. I’ve never done well fitting in to a box, in the world. I tried hanging out with the popular kids, but it was always too restricting. You shouldn’t either, because you were not made to fit in with others. You were made to be fully you. Explore that! Some people won’t like it, but you’re not doing it for some people, you’re doing it for you. Whether you like to write, or throw pottery, or dance, do that thing. The world needs it.

I need to see you exploring your creativity too as a fellow traveler along with you in life.

I need my writing to have a purpose and a mission, but not on a certain subject. I need it to reflect me, and the whole me. That has been so healing to me already, as I’ve leaned in to who I am, completely and totally. That is available to all of us, and I encourage you to do it too. I see healing and growth in me, and I believe that humans need a creative outlet.

As I grow in this craft, I look forward to discovering what else is under the surface. I don’t want to stop writing, ever. Now that I’ve found this creative outlet, it’s satisfied my soul.

2 thoughts on “I’m finding my voice through creativity. You won’t heal until you find yours.

  1. I like this part a lot. “you were not made to fit in with others. You were made to be fully you.” Yes, I think for sure about how things are these days as you mention, everything is based on how many clicks or some “liked” something, did they really like-like it, or just liked it just because through endless scrolling, lol. In the end does that really matter who liked what? As you summed that up, I don’t think so either, what is most important is how many were deeply touched about a message, decided to make some changes or thought about it, those are the things we will never really know. I know through reading in the last year other peoples stories, that they have no idea that they helped me. What I love as I have heard you say many times before, if one person is moved to better themselves or others, it’s worth it. I love that you are doing all this exploring an creativity, I love seeing the process. Being together for 28 years, their is still so much to know, and I love it. I am learning some great deal about you, and myself through your writing, thank you. Jason


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