You can’t get life wrong. Ever. Ever. Ever.
When you stop trying to attain perfection, exciting things will start to happen. Were you trying to do everything right in life and it went wrong anyway? That’s me in a nutshell. It’s my life story. When I mess up, it’s easy to second guess every single thing about me. I waver and I wonder why in the world I can’t get anything right in life. Do you do that too? How do you come out of it? Here’s what I’m learning on this very subject.
Life is not about ‘getting it right’ as I have learned.
When I try to do the “right” thing in life, it’s really not that fun or interesting anyway. I can fill the checkboxes so easily because I’m a goal setter and I like seeing things accomplished. It makes me happy, and I live a pretty orderly life. When I need a new tube of toothpaste, you can bet there’s an extra one in the drawer, ready to go.
The bills are paid, I go to my job every day, the kids go to school, and Jason and I eat dinner every night around 6ish.
Routine makes me happy.
It gets kinda old when the boxes are always checked because it’s not that hard to do when your personality is wired that way. I still have the boxes all checked because I like having toothpaste and candy on hand when I need it.
But I’ve also awakened! I’m in an empowerment, take no sh!t stage and going off plan and off the grid.
It’s exciting to go off plan, but also a little bit scary. Give yourself time to get used to it.
I got lost in all those check boxes for awhile, neglecting the softer side of myself. The emotional, the vulnerable, the creative, and inspired version. Do you know where yours is? When I found mine, the world got a little brighter. It’s a little scarier too, I’ll admit. When I’m putting myself out there and enjoying the best version of myself, it means I’m really living, but also that others might not like it, and I’m a people pleaser to the core.
Learning to live differently brings out the underlying shame for me too. (To read more on how I process shame, this post is a good one I wrote on the subject) What do I mean by that? Sometimes I think, “Am I really just super ridiculous?” Then I remember that it doesn’t matter what other people think, and that is shame talking.
I am being me, in all my quirky ways. Good, bad, or indifferent, this is what you get from me. Take it or leave it.
Growth takes time, allow it to unfold
It’s been a bit of a roller coaster as I’m learning and keeping myself on track in my mind, and not letting doubt ruin all the fun I’m having. I’m enjoying spending days writing and creating, and going to the drive in, and shooting, and snowmobiling. I’m enjoying staying up late with Jason talking, or taking a spontaneous trip to California because we just HAD to get out of town for a few days. Oh, sure, and I still go to work and buy toothpaste and candy, they just aren’t prioritized as much as they used to be.
There is no way to do it right when you’re being authentically you.
How can you be wrong as an individual? You can’t. There is no wrong! Let that soak in. Remind me too when I falter, ok?
I hope you can find that side of you too, and stop trying to fit in the mold because the mold is stupid. And it’s spelled the same whether you’re talking about mold or ‘the mold’ so neither one is a good thing. Just be you, you are enough. Trust and have faith in that. It will allow you to take risks and enjoy everything the world has to offer.
Ok, I’m off to go enjoy the rest of my day, kicking my feet up and relaxing as much as possible, after spending the whole day already doing just that.