I recently shared my birth mom story with Brave Love. It took guts to do that. It wasn’t even just bravery, it was guts. Even after 28 years, my finger was very shaky when I hit ‘send’ on the draft. Go take a read sometime. My story is amazing and beautiful. It’ll challenge you.
I’ve leaned on support over the years, mostly private, with my friends and family and am so blessed in that. It was still scary to death to put my story out there. There are many birth moms who don’t have the support I do, and my heart breaks for them. I want keep talking about this important issue to help others who are walking this road.
This is a story that I know for certain will encourage others, but it’s risky to put it out there for sure. I live a great life and a passion for encouraging others and I know how lonely it can feel after making an important decision such as relinquishment. It’s not common and it can be misunderstood.
Adoption is beautiful and wonderful, and I am incredibly grateful for it and for adoptive parents. I made exactly the right decision, and I’ve never regretted it.
That said, being a birth mom is a lonely road.
There has been very little focus on birth moms because it’s painful. Our existence can be threatening to adoptive parents if they lack maturity or emotional intelligence. I’m here to tell you that even though I am so happy with my decision, it has forever imprinted my soul with grief that many can never understand.
The reason I have chosen to share my story over the years when it was safe and appropriate. There have been times when I haven’t shared when I determined I was with someone that I didn’t trust.
I got hurt anyway, even being careful. Hurt on top of hurt, on top of pain, on top of grief, on top of that soul imprint.
Let’s choose to celebrate the birth mom.
It’s time for us to celebrate not only the beauty of adoption, including birth moms in that too. We are making this choice because of love. Even if we are messed up and broken, we want to do the right thing for our child.
If you are a parent, you understand that kind of love. We birth moms have it too.
Go take a visit at Bravelove.org and see the work they are doing in celebrating and supporting birth moms. They are changing this narrative in our society, and I am so grateful for that!
I know how amazing it feels when someone encourages me. That’s allowed me space to openly share and support other birth moms who have made the decision for adoption. I want other birth moms to know that we can be celebrated, encouraged, and stand in unity for such a beautiful thing.
Thank you for reading along! Stay in touch, I’d love to hear your story.
For more posts about birth moms from me, visit the Birth Mom section here.
I’ve got a podcast too! Listen now 🙂 My husband also has a special story of being reunited with his son, it’s episode 8.
Andersons of West Hills 